What do you think of when you hear the word networking? For me it’s people madly handing out business cards at an event, with a goal of getting their name out there vs making meaningful connections. This is why I’m strong believer in relationship building to grow your career over traditional networking.
Maybe it’s because I’ve attended one too many networking events that I’ve left drained and uninspired. I’ve felt the conversations were superficial and one-sided. I’ve even attended events where there’s a contest to see who can collect the most business cards. Ugh.
This type of networking does nothing to grow your business or career.
Rather, I’ve found the key to my success has been building authentic and lasting relationships with likeminded or growth focused individuals.
#1 Quality over quantity
A few years ago, I was at a conference where the first speaker of the day talked about networking. Before I had a chance to roll my eyes, he dropped a nugget that made me sit up and pay attention.
He said at this conference there are over 1,000 attendees. I encourage you to make 1 to 2 meaningful connections over the next 2 days.
He went on to say, please don’t spend your time handing out business cards that will likely be tossed in the garbage. Rather, talk to the person next to you in the session, coffee line up or approach someone in the lobby. If you find a connection, continue the conversation.
The goal is to create 1 to 2 new connections that will continue outside of this conference. If you can do that, you’ve had networking success.
#2 Curiosity mindset
I took his advice to heart and ended up connecting with a speech language pathologist who remains a friend to this day. Although we’re in completely different industries, we found some overlap as we’re both passionate about supporting kids with disabilities.
So, here’s where the curiosity comes into play. Don’t just judge a person by their job title. Be curious about who they are, what they do and more importantly why they do it. Curiosity is key to putting our egos on the backburner and learning more about others.
#3 Long game
Here’s the thing about building relationships versus networking. When you build a relationship it’s for the long game whereas networking is about what can I gain from you in the immediate future.
Early in my career as a community newspaper editor, I would occasionally run into a reporter from the daily newspaper while on assignment. We’d chat, compare notes and, over time, built up a friendly relationship.
Throughout the years, and in various cities, our paths would cross. While we never worked for the same organization, at times we would work on the same project. We would occasionally go for lunch or a coffee, continuing to build our relationship.
Fast forward to a large international event I was working on and came up against a hurdle. Low and behold this same colleague was also working on the event and was in a position of power. I was able to call and ask for her help in removing the barrier.
Because we had mutual trust and respect, she made it happen. I can promise you that without this trust, which wasn’t built overnight, she wouldn’t have stuck her neck out. Rather, she did it because she knew I would abide by the imposed conditions.
#4 Be open
My final piece of advice in why relationship building is key to growing your career is to be open to the journey. Be open to various personalities, experience levels, industries and diversities. Don’t just look to connect with people who talk, think and act like you.
Reach out beyond your comfort zone. Embrace the curiosity mindset and look at what relationships you can develop. Don’t discount that prickly personality at first glance. Take some time to get to know them, digging deeper. If they’re still prickly, move on. But you might find that’s just a façade and a great person lies beneath.
When I give workshops on crisis communications, I share how the relationships I’ve built over the years have been key to getting through the crisis. I have a network of individuals I can call to ask for advice, run ideas by or just vent to without fear of retaliation.
These are individuals who I’ve also listened to, supported or mentored. It’s a two-way street. I try to give more than I take as I truly value each relationship.
I encourage you to think about the relationships you need to develop as well as foster. These can be professional or personal, or a mix of the two. The key is being authentic versus just exchanging business cards.
At the end of the day, you might even come away with some new friendships. And trust me, that’s way better than a stack of business cards you’ll never look at again.